Don’t Gossip With Gossipers

Generally, if someone gossips to you he or she will gossip about you. Gossip can be very destructive to a workplace if taken too far. Rumors occur because of inadequate formal communications. The best way to combat rumor is to open up all means of communications.

Our goal as managers should be to build up others, showing kindness and understanding instead of bitterness and malice. Gossip undermines this goal.

Some managers view office gossip as natural, normal, and indestructible. These managers will learn its traits, listen to it, and attempt to influence it.

Leaders should address destructive gossip as soon as possible. If you catch it soon enough, address it with the source and find out who else is involved. You should explain how unfounded gossip leads to conflicts, distrust, and disrespect. No one wants to be the victim of mean spirited gossip. Even when the gossip may be true, it may have no place in the workplace. For example, if someone is getting divorced, there is no reason for people to spread rumors about that at work – it’s personal. The gossiper may be unaware of how unfavorable others view him or her for being reckless with rumors and speculation.

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 Ephesians 4:29 - - Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

James 4:11 - - “Brothers, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment of it.’

Psalm 31:18 - - Let their lying lips be silenced, for with pride and contempt they speak arrogantly against the righteous.

Psalm 34:13 - - Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking lies.

Psalm 52:2 - - Thy tongue deviseth mischiefs; like a sharp razor, working deceitfully.

Proverbs 10:18-21 - - 18He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool. 19When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise. 20The tongue of the righteous is choice silver, but the heart of the wicked is of little value. 21The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of judgment.

Can my mouth ruin my life? (10:18-21) - - Yes! Our mouths have the potential to make our lives miserable and affect our destiny. A chattering fool, says Proverbs, comes to ruin (v. 10).

The more we talk, the more likely we are going to stray into areas of gossip and slander (10:19). Slander is the spreading of false and damaging information about another person as if it were true. Only a fool does that, because sooner or later truth wins out and the slanderer will be discredited and punished (v. 18). Gossip, which is the sharing of rumors or information of an intimate, personal or sensational nature, ultimately destroys friendships and creates friction (16:28).

The wise person, however, speaks frugally. The tongue rightly used can nourish or feed others. A compliment or word of encouragement can brighten someone’s outlook or motivate a person to pursue a dream. Sharing the Word of God is another life-giving use for our tongues. Our tongue doesn’t affect only our destiny; it can also change the destiny of those we bless or curse.

That’s why Proverbs advocates an economy of speech. It’s a wise person who bridles the urge to blurt out everything on his or her mind. Even fools are thought to be wise when they keep their mouth shut (17:28).

Proverbs 16:28 - - A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.

Proverbs 17:4 - - A wicked man listens to evil lips; a liar pays attention to a malicious tongue.

Proverbs 20:19 - - A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.

Proverbs 25:9-10 – If you argue your case with a neighbor, do not betray another man’s confidence, or he who hears it may shame you and you will never lose your bad reputation.

Proverbs 26:22 - - The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s innermost parts.

Why call gossip choice morsels? (26:22) - - Choice delicacies are relished and eagerly devoured. Unfortunately so is gossip. Like choice morsels, gossip is something that stimulates the desire for more. People who gossip can’t stop saying: “You’ll never believe what I just found out.”

Proverbs 30:10 - - Do not slander a servant to his master, or he will curse you, and you will pay for it.

Everyone Has a Name And Is Important

Names represent a person’s identity accomplishments, and relationships

A person's name is their identity and embodies everything they have and will ever do.  By calling someone by their first name you are personalizing your message and drawing their attention.  You can't have a personal relationship without first names.  You are honoring him or her in the moment.

Memorial plaques and grave markers are symbols of remembrance and honor. The Vietnam War Memorial (wall) displays the names of every soldier killed during the war. It’s hard to forget the sacrifices made by so many, when their names are there, etched forever.

When I first entered the plant, I personally introduced myself to every person. I worked hard to remember all of their names and call them by the same when I saw them again. One woman stopped me and said, “You are the first person who has ever introduced himself to us.” She was visibly happy that I did. Time after time, people complimented me on talking to them and listening to their concerns. Sadly, there had been a lot of manager turnover before I had arrived and not one of them took time to learn about their employees.

Leaders understand that first impressions are extremely powerful and leave lasting impressions. Interpersonal relationships are either won or lost in about the first four minutes of conversation. People project and respond to “gut” feelings which are nearly instantaneous.

Leaders must get to know their employees personally, yet not let that affect their business decisions. Leaders generally extend their hand and offer their name first in initial meetings. Stating our name up front in a positive, affirmative manner, we are projecting self-worth and giving others an immediate reason to accept us as someone important to remember. Extending your hand first and giving a firm handshake is a way of showing value to others. Leaders should also offer a warm smile and use direct eye contact to spur interest in communication.

The one thing I want to leave my children is an honorable name. Theodore Roosevelt

If you’re sitting down in your office when an employee enters, make sure you move to a posture signifying respect and interest. This means that you’re sitting upright, towards the front of your chair, and not distracted by other things. If you’re in the middle of something, simply put it aside and give them your full attention. You’re not going to win anyone over if you are lounging back in your chair, feet up on the desk, and doing other things while they are trying to talk to you.

After introducing yourself, become an active listener. Listeners learn talkers do not. This a proven way of drawing people out, giving them value at the same time.

A new supervisor took a temporary assignment in the plant where I worked and was unfamiliar with the things we did. On her first day, she introduced herself to employees and actively listened. Employees were approaching me and saying, “She’s really smart.” When I told her that the employees liked her and thought she was smart, she responded, “All I did was listen.” Her warm, open smile, direct eye contact, and active listening skills had quickly won over many.

There is nothing more important to an individual than a feeling of self-worth and value to themselves and others. Seek first to understand, then to be understood.

Forget levels and position when you talk to people. Everyone is equally important and if they aren’t treated that way, they won’t feel that way. Employees will talk to each other and everyone will know the way you treat them. Everyone in the organization is critical so you can’t afford to isolate anyone.

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"It is surely time for men to think for themselves, and to throw off the authority of names so artificially magnified." --Thomas Jefferson to William Short, 1820. ME 15:258

In elections, name recognition is critical. If you have a name like Hoover, Ford, or Kennedy, your chances are improved. Candidates spend a lot of money to get their name known because so many citizens will vote based on that alone. Mailings, signs, and commercials are all selling you a name. The majority of voters couldn’t tell you one thing about many of the candidates for whom they voted. They may have voted along party lines or by the names, they recognized. Even voting by party lines is simple name recognition. Our forefathers must be gravely disappointed in the way elections are run and won today.

Many organizations spend millions to endorse their brand names. Nike, Reebok, Coke, Pepsi, Miller, and Budweiser are just a few. Even the Internet is a hot market for domain names. For example, when you type in IBM, you expect to find IBM and not someone else like Dell.

"If [my] opinions are sound, they will occur to others, and will prevail by their own weight, without the aid of names." --Thomas Jefferson to Samuel Kercheval, 1816. ME 15:70

"It is not the name, but the thing which is essential." --Thomas Jefferson: Opinion on the Tonnage Payable, 1791. ME 3:292 

Proverbs 22:1 - - “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.”

How can I acquire a good name (22:1) - - A good name develops from the pursuit and practice of wisdom. Wise people earn a good reputation as they learn to handle finances carefully, avoid sexual impurity, control their emotions and speech and work hard. Those who ignore wisdom and wind up in debt, sexual immorality, laziness and drunkenness will find their names on bad credit reports, pink slips and even police blotters!

Luke 10:20 - - When Jesus’ follower reported their successful service to Him, He replied: “Do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

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“All of us must be servants, and some serve by leading. Following Christ’s example, godly leaders choose the way of humility. They are driven not by selfish ambition but by a burning desire to care for God’s people and accomplish his purposes (1 Peter 5:2-6).”

Nehemiah was placed in charge of rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. He accepted God’s difficult assignment and showed how to survive both opposition and apathy. “Recurring ideas, pivotal phrases, summary statements and spiritual characteristics all offer themes for us to learn. For example, the repeated phrase next to them shows the level of coordination that is needed for a job this big. Also we might learn from Nehemiah’s example how a leader can motivate people; he apparently did this by enlisting most workers to build near their own homes. Finally, from Nehemiah’s careful record of personal names, we see a leader who noticed individuals; he knew their names and noted their achievements.”

Ezra 2:2-61 lists all the names of exiled families that had returned to Jerusalem. Why list all these names? - - These names represented people – thousands of them – going back to where they belonged. The detailed list of the names and towns of the returning families shows that God didn’t limit his focus to a few leaders. Every individual was important.

Psalm 20:7 - - Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.

What does it mean to trust God’s name? (20:7) - - Trusting God’s name means placing one’s confidence in who he is.

Psalm 25:11 - - For the sake of your name, O LORD, forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

Why appeal for mercy on the basis of God’s name? (25;11) - - The Lord’s character and reputation are expressed in his name. On the basis of his character, we can count on him to forgive.


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Office Politics

There are few if any places that don’t have some level of office politics going on. Politics are more prominent in poorer performing businesses than better performers. People play the game to get ahead either by saying the right things, playing the numbers game, or maintaining a focus different from that of the organization. Office politics discourages teamwork, cooperation, and overall effectiveness. People competing against each other tend to grab the limelight when things go right and blame someone else when things go wrong. Blame, in turn, leads to greater distrust and respect for one another. Personal goals interfere with office goals and everyone loses.

Don't be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves. Dale Carnegie

Remain neutral in conversations about other people to avoid your words being taken out of context or embellished. You want to listen without adding to the problem. In fact, by refusing to engage in the same behavior, you will gain the trust and respect of the person speaking. They will feel more secure in talking to you too, because they feel you won’t talk about them badly either. See gossip.

Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to outgrow small ones.   Theodore Roosevelt

Others that seemingly go too far in pleasing their boss irk many people. On the other hand, many mock those being cordial. You need to ignore all that talk, keep your nose clean, your mouth controlled, and do your job. You won’t miss many opportunities when you act socially responsible, make your desires known, and do your job very well. A good boss will not show partiality to characteristics not useful in a position.
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Exodus 23:2 – Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong.

2 Chronicles 19:7 – Now let the fear of the LORD be upon you. Judge carefully, for with the LORD our God there is no injustice or partiality or bribery.

In our quest to walk with God we must also strive to be just, impartial, and honest.

Proverbs 29:5 - - Whoever flatters his neighbor is spreading a net for his feet.

What is a net for the feet? (29:5) - - A net of woven cords was designed to catch birds or sometimes, when spread over an open pit, animals. This proverb uses the concept of a net in a figurative way to describe being caught off guard by flattering words.

To read more about this book or purchase it now, click here for "Secret Techniques of the Successful Moral Manager."

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Betrayed By Work

Job-satisfaction studies over the past 20 years indicate that people are looking for identity, purpose, and meaning in their work, but very few are finding them. Work becomes too personal for too many people.

When you look for unmet emotional needs at work, you’re setting yourself up for betrayal. Psychologist Ilend Philipson explains. “Work is not a meritocracy. Your boss is not your friend. Your colleagues are not your family. Workplaces are intensely political environments.” 

Three signs that work has become too personal say Philipson are: 

1. You rarely miss work, even when you’re sick and should’ve been in bed. You never vacation with friends or family, and when you choose between a child’s activity and work-related meeting, you usually choose the latter.
2. They always thought that putting work above all else made them valuable employees, but in the end, it damaged their relationships, hurt their health, and emotionally devastated them.
3. The primary motivation for working long days and longer nights wasn’t because people love work, but because of the praise and recognition received. If you rely on work for a sense of self-worth, you’re putting yourself at the mercy of the whims of the higher-ups.

You need to value what you do and know your assets – even when your employer doesn’t.

Friendships at work should be approached with great caution. At work, you are in a hierarchical situation, where you’re vying for attention, raises, and promotions. People tend to become unglued when there are layoffs, transfers, or changes in positions.

The problem occurs when work is the only place where your needs are met. Your identity should not depend on one relationship. You need different relationships to get your needed affirmation. 

Source: Article: Betrayed by Work, Fast Company Magazine, Issue 29, November 1999.

Creating Win/Win Situations

Create Win/Win situations whenever possible for everyone involved. Win/Win means solutions or agreements are mutually beneficial and satisfying. 

A Win/Win solution results in all parties feeling good about the decision and feels committed to the action plan. One requirement of Win/Win success is a high level of trust. Without trust, the level of commitment is low and so is the chance of success.

Character is the foundation of Win/Win, having the character traits of integrity, maturity, and abundance mentality (there’s enough for everyone).

Win/Win agreements should outline ultra-specific objectives that include:  

• Desired results – when and what is to be done. Goals should be a stretch, yet achievable.
• Guidelines – parameters in which results are to be accomplished
• Resources – human, financial, technical, or organizational support that is available
• Accountability – performance standards and evaluation times
• Consequences – what will happen because of the evaluation? What recourse is available for extraordinary circumstances? Don’t punish anyone for circumstances out of their control or you risk losing their trust.

Contract negotiations are an ideal time to discuss win-win scenarios. Discuss possibilities with managers, employees, and union officials periodically and informally for ideas. Start with the thought, “what is good for our organization?” and ask yourself how you might motivate your employees to achieve that objective. When both parties stand to gain from the same objective, you are far more likely to achieve it. 

Contract negotiations generally take place every two to four years, so be sure to keep track of items you want negotiated between these times. Keep a little notepad of items within your agreement that has caused you problems or were unclear. If things changed operationally (new machines, new technology, new equipment, etc.) there may be things within your agreement that don’t apply anymore. It is something you probably want to discuss about deleting in the next negotiations. Likewise, changes often require an addendum of some kind.

What Qualities Employees Look For In Leaders

The real power of a leader resides with the group’s willingness to accept the leader. Groups follow leaders who come closest to the group’s expectations. They want empathetic leaders who best understand them and what they want. Successful leadership encompasses empathy, using group expectations to coordinate activities toward the goals of the organization.

Workers look for certain qualities in their leaders that include:

• Sincere, direct answers
• Making good on promises to workers
• Prompt response to complaints
• Availability when problems arise – willingness to find answers he or she doesn’t know off hand
• Understanding when problems couldn’t be avoided
• Showing interest in ideas and suggestions
• Discussing why work changes may be necessary
• Dealing with poor performers
• Recognizing good performers
• Vision – direction of business
• Good listening skills
• Willingness to compromise
• Shares information openly
• Willingness to admit mistakes

Workers want what we all want from people we must deal with: honesty, integrity, humbleness, and value. Employees judge supervisors for both the way they reward good performances and the way they deal with problems. Good leaders must work at both ends of the spectrum continually while covering all scenarios in between. You have your worst and best employees to deal with everyday, as well as the average. The real opportunity for excellence lays in getting both the worst and average workers to do a little more. In most places, most of your workers fall within this category. Imagine the boost your company would experience if each of these employees improved by just a little. The key is finding the motivator for each one, applying it, monitoring and maintaining it.

Engage Your Employees To Succeed

Leaders must treat their employees, at all levels, as the root source of productivity and quality. Respect and value for every member of the organization is critical, especially as employee rolls grow smaller. Leaders should make every attempt to bring every employee into the fold and involved to every extent possible. Even one unhappy employee can share negative comments with many potential customers. One unhappy employee can affect normally happy, productive people. One unhappy employee can cause many labor problems, disruptions, and morale problems. One unhappy person can waste a lot of time you don’t have. 

If you want real success, you need to find ways to tap an employee’s heart and brain. That’s where you find his: enthusiasm; loyalty; creativity; ingenuity; and resourcefulness.

You won’t tap their heart and brains by:  

• Ignoring their comments, suggestions, or complaints
• Failing to include them in the process
• Failing to communicate enough information
• Having a negative and/or hostile work environment 

Employees want to contribute and see their contribution make a difference. They want to learn, grow, and be part of a successful organization that makes a difference in the world. They want be appreciated and recognized for their efforts and accomplishments. Employees want to feel that they are progressing in some way (training, promotion, responsibility, title, recognition, etc.). To instill value managers should share stories about how their product and/or service changed someone’s life.

“A well-run restaurant is like a winning baseball team, it makes the most of every crew member’s talent and takes advantage of every split-second opportunity to speed up service.” Ray Krock, McDonald’s founder.

Machines are only as productive as employees make them. Your customers are only as satisfied as your employees make them. You wouldn’t let your ten million dollar machine lack maintenance and be underutilized, so why would you let a valuable employee? Employees will always make or break organizational success.