Job-satisfaction studies over the past 20 years indicate that people are looking for identity, purpose, and meaning in their work, but very few are finding them. Work becomes too personal for too many people.
When you look for unmet emotional needs at work, you’re setting yourself up for betrayal. Psychologist Ilend Philipson explains. “Work is not a meritocracy. Your boss is not your friend. Your colleagues are not your family. Workplaces are intensely political environments.”
Three signs that work has become too personal say Philipson are:
- You rarely miss work, even when you’re sick and should’ve been in bed. You never vacation with friends or family, and when you choose between a child’s activity and work-related meeting, you usually choose the latter.
- They always thought that putting work above all else made them valuable employees, but in the end, it damaged their relationships, hurt their health, and emotionally devastated them.
- The primary motivation for working long days and longer nights wasn’t because people love work, but because of the praise and recognition received. If you rely on work for a sense of self-worth, you’re putting yourself at the mercy of the whims of the higher-ups.
You need to value what you do and know your assets – even when your employer doesn’t.
Friendships at work should be approached with great caution. At work, you are in a hierarchical situation, where you’re vying for attention, raises, and promotions. People tend to become unglued when there are layoffs, transfers, or changes in positions.
The problem occurs when work is the only place where your needs are met. Your identity should not depend on one relationship. You need different relationships to get your needed affirmation.
Source: Article: Betrayed by Work, Fast Company Magazine, Issue 29, November 1999.
